Twenty Three Days

Its two days into week four and today was a weird sort of day where I thought about throwing in the towel. Why? I am not even sure that I can tell you to be honest. I just kinda felt over it today. I was talking to a friend who said to me "Remember if we quit this time next year we will still be crying over being fat and feeling shit. So the way I see it is we can either be suffering trying to get to our goal by improving ourselves or feel shit doing nothing and only have ourselves to blame." 

Man I needed to hear that today for real. It was a bit of a kick up the butt but honestly it is so damn true. Seriously, giving up right now is not an option. Because for a moment or two of satisfaction its going to add weeks, maybe even months onto this journey.

Hey! Over Here...Eating my emotions!

Ever experienced that moment where something super crappy happens or you have and extra stressy day at work, and you find your mind wandering to where the nearest burger place is, or if you have a packet of tim tams on hand, or how quickly you can get to the store to buy that block of chocolate? If you know what I am talking about then you probably have some experience in the subject of Emotional Eating. I'm going to talk about myself here, because you know, I do that a lot, but also because if there was a poster child for emotional eating, it would probably be me. Before any of you think it, no, I am not proud of that. But I am acknowledging it. I've been doing a bit of research into the topic. Honestly there is a bombardment of information out there. I typed into Google "emotional eating" and a whole lot of bogus health articles came up with how to deal with it. As I read some of them I wondered if the authors had ever even dealt with it. Telling someone to 'just say no' when your upset, and have been emotional eating for years is like telling an alcoholic not to have a drink when they are sitting in a bar, after experiencing whatever their trigger might be [ok I'm not an alcoholic so I'm not sure that's fair but it's the best comparison I could conjur up this morning]

I identify as an emotional eater. I have for years. I have always known it. It is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. Every time something happens in my life that warrants an emotional response [ be it happy or sad] my brain just sends me a little message, reminding me that I can comfort myself with food. It's like a little email popping into your inbox, 'don't worry Tillie. I know your feeling really crap but if you stuff your face with sugar and carbs, it will make us feel better. I promise." The problem with this is that because over time this has happened again and again and again [and probably a few more times after that] it is now so much more than an emotional response.

By engaging in emotional eating, we are subconsciously seeking comfort or pleasure from food. Without getting technical [because let's face it I'm a no technician] emotional eating is regulated by the reward system in our brain. If you have any connection with emotional eating you will know the types of foods you reach for. These foods basically send messages to the rewards system in our brain and we receive what we know as pleasure. You feel good for a minute of so, and then it passes. But the effects of this last so much linger than that hit of satisfaction. We pave the way for our brain to want that reaction on a regular basis, we crave that hit. I know it all sounds very drug addict like, but actually, food has become a drug for a lot of us. We use it to comfort and to escape. But no one looks sideways at us because it's socially pretty damn acceptable.

Since refocusing in this journey, my emotional response to food has become so much more apparent than it ever was. I have become aware of it so much so that I almost can hear my brain sending that message as it happens. I suppose the difference in this state is that because I am aware of it, I can address it. But I do know that a lot of us don't even realise what is going on. So often habit is so deeply engrained into us we don't even realise that there is another option. Well my dear friends, I promise you there is. Emotional eating is such a shitty topic, but I know how much it effects me, so I wanted to talk about some of the things I am trying to do to combat it.

1. Recognise your triggers.
Understand your responses to situations and take check of whether you are actually physically hungry or responding to something else. I know this sounds a bit fluffy, but trust me. Something I have been doing over the past few weeks is having a glass of water when I think I am hungry. 9 times out of 10 this has subsided my 'hunger'. It's harder when it's an emotional response, but for me, I have been writing this down in a little notebook. When I'm stressed what is my response? How about when I'm pissed off? I'm noticing a trend and that is making me powerful in responding to it.

2. Distraction
Emotions are a funny thing. If you know me you know I am highly in touch with my emotions. I cry at almost anything that is sad, or even too happy. But sometimes, when you focus on the emotion that your feeling it just intensifies. Lately when I feel the stress monster looming I try to focus my energy into something else. Switch the conversations up, go for a walk, pick up my book, or close my eyes and meditate for a few minutes. It's been making the world of difference.

3. Write it down,
This won't work for everyone, and I know I've already mentioned it, but I find writing things down and keeping a track to be really helpful. It's like, everything is there and I can start to see patterns. It also helps with the distraction thing, I turn my mind to writing, in whatever form and it helps.

4. Talk to someone.
I'm not suggesting you get a counsellor! But rather someone you can chat to when you feel that emotional repsonse rearing its head. I have a group of 3-4 people who I know understand my journey. They are encouraging and supporting and they give me that reality check that I need when those emotional moments want to take over. This has been an honest lifesaver to me, and I couldn't suggest it enough if I tried.

5. Be kind to yourself.
Most important of all of this. Know that overnight things aren't going to change, you are fighting something that is so hard. Sometimes it's not even about a lack of willpower. It's science. It's shitty and it's hard. Don't beat yourself up. Don't allow guilt and shame to sneak in and steal your victory. Work hard, equip yourself with the tools and people who will help you, focus and be kind to yourself. Because you are wonderful and strong and you can do this.

No Wrong Questions

Lately  I have been getting a bunch of awesome messages from people who have found the blog and decided to have a little read of it. I love that. I love hearing from you guys, honestly it is radical. A few of the questions I have been getting have been the same, So I thought maybe other people are wondering it too... So. What do I do? Write a F.A.Q blog post, because you know, that makes sense to me. So here is the first installment. My guess is there will be more to come, and thats ok too!

How old are you, and how much weight have you lost?
I am 25 years old and so far, I have lost about 14 kilos since March 2014.

How much do you weigh?
I could say all sorts of things here but actually, I am just not ready to talk about that publically and that is ok. I weigh more than I should, but I am also not defined by that number on those scales.

Why do you blog?
At the end of the day this is about my journey. I write because its therapeutic, and because it keep me on track. But if you can take something away from it, then that is even more radical in my books.

You were eating to a paleo template before, and now follow keto. Whats with all the chopping and changing?
Most of my adult life I have been thinking about being on a diet. Me and the Fad diets have been frenemies for a while. Weightwatchers, Jenny Craig, Blood Type Diets, Counting Calories, Meal Replacements, Supplements. I’ve done a lot.

In 2013 I learnt about paleo nutrition and I implemented it into my life. I have some small wins, but I lost focus. March 2014 rolled around and I was introduced to Rapid through my radical friend Hells. Honestly, it is fairly similar to how I was eating when following a paleo template, with increased fats.

So in answer to the question, you know, sometimes it takes a little while to find the thing that works for you. But when you find it you know.

Will Rapid/Keto work for me?
Honestly, I can't tell you that... But what I can say is this. I tried a whole lot of stuff before I found keto., and none of it worked for me. That's not to say it won't work for you. I know people who have had great success doing other stuff, and I know people who have had amazing success eating keto. What I love about rapid is that it is structured, it is supported through an amazing community of staff and members and it is based on science. Someone once told me if you follow the plan, you can't not lose. Science doesn't lie. I know when I follow the plan it works.

Whats the deal with you and Rapid?
No deal. I am not endorsed or financially affiliated to rapid. I was introduced to the business by my rad friend Hells, who tested the programme out earlier this year. Then I bought the programme, and now I am using the programme. Thats it.

Do you really eat a lot of butter and bacon?
I know you have images of me layering butter and bacon on a plate and munching away. It’s not quite like that. Yes, I eat bacon in this diet, but probably only once or twice a week. Yes I cook with butter and yes it is awesome. Good fats are key to getting your body into Ketosis, so along with butter, most meals will be accompanied with some nuts, coconut cream, coconut oil, olive oil, sour cream, mayo,  or my favourite friend, avocado.

Ok so you eat fat. What else though? It sounds like its pretty restrictive?
Have y'all seen my instagram? Seriously? I think my food looks damn tasty, and honestly it is not that restrictive. I don't have bread, or pasta or potatoes. But you know what, that stuff isn't great for you anyway, so I made the choice to put my health first.

I am actually going to do a little what I eat in keto post soon, but, for a quick run down, my diet consists of good fats, delicious fresh veges, a few berries for some sweetness and a good whack of protein in every meal. I've given up soda and candy and almost every sort of takeaway because there isn't a healthy good option. And I am ok with it. Actually, when I am in it, I love it. So yeah. I actually eat a lot.

Your food looks amazing, Can I have the recipe?
If the recipe is available heck yes you can, and I will always link it where possible. But honestly the majority of the recipes that I follow come straight out of Rapid 2.0 courtesy of Miss Gray Souffle. So you will have to get your hands on the programme to get all the tasty goodness inside.

Do you take any supplements?
Each morning with breakfast I take Magnesium, Chromium Picolinate, Fish oil and a multi vitamin. I also use a pea protein for my smoothies, and loving earth coconut oil.

So that is round one. Is there anything burning you want to ask that you haven't yet? I am so more than happy to answer anything! And hey, I might just do another little one of these round up posts again soon.


Sometimes it is really hard to stay positive. I think maybe it is human nature for people to look toward the more negative side of things. I know that I have to keep myself in check, that I find it really easy to get hung up on the things that I could do better on rather than celebrating the things that I have accomplished. But I am trying to change that mentality. I am trying to live in the now, celebrate this moment, I might not be where I quite want to be, but I am also not where I started. If you have followed me at all for any length of time you will know I am not an inspiration quotes kinda girl. I don't post them on my Instagram and I generally wont post them on my Facebook pages either. But, I have recently been carrying around a little notebook. I have been jotting a few things down, whether they are reminders, feelings, emotions, anything really. Sometimes, putting a little positive tidbit in there helps. And I wanted to share some of those, in case, in among the crazyness that has already occurred this week, you need a reminder that there is still a bit of positivity out there. Sometimes you just have to look for it.

Last week was mentally challenging for me, I was getting in the swing of things, and I was almost feeling comfortable and then I sort of just lost it a bit.  I am lucky that I have an amazing group of people keeping me honest and accountable, but even then, I wanted to have a break. I realised though that that wasn't going to do me any good so I trucked on. I gave myself room to breathe and I focused where I wanted to go. I did that. Not the support team, me. And I celebrated that win because I deserved it.

I lost another kilogram this week. That means since March I have lost around 14.5kgs. I still have a long way to go, to get to that first ultimate goal. But you know. 14.5kgs in 6 months is pretty great. It might not be as fast as some people, it might not even be as noticeable for some people. But this isn't about some people. This is about me. And my journey and the things that I am doing. And I am happy. I am positive and I am feeling like the next 14.5kgs are in my grasp. Run your own race, focus on your, spread positivity and light, build up other strong and incredible woman, use your brain and your words to encourage and motivate and most importantly, be true to yourself. Everyday strive to be the best version of you,  because in the end, that is all you can do.

A week of delicious food

Ok. So it has been a week since I started reset over. Much like the last time the first few days weren't the best. But they weren't so bad. It was a mind game, and I wasn't going to let that mind of mine take over this time. After talking it over with Jay I made the decision to start at phase two of reset. For all you non rapid folks out there, phase one is a 3 day juice detox, phase two is base ketogenic eating. [Ok I might go into that more later...] There were a few reasons, but really it was because last time the juicing almost broke me and I didn't want to start in a negative space again. 

I have had a few people already ask me about what I ate this week. I have been filling out this super handy little Rapid tracker, so I thought I might post that here for you to have a look at if anyone is interested. Almost all of the recipes of the things that I have made this week have been directly out of the Rapid 2.0 platform. Seriously, they are delicious. As you can see I tried the Mug Cake for the first time on Thursday. And I have eaten it every day for breakfast since. Cake and cream in the morning? Seriously! Yum

So. Week one ended. And I am please to announce that I really am back on track. I weighed myself this morning and I have lost 5kgs. That is right folks. No serious exercise this week, but I am going to start to introduce it this week hopefully! I am feeling good, I am starting to see change already, and its been 7 days. I am eating delicious, nutrient dense food, I am focusing on my mind and my internal dialogue, I am focused and I am excited. Bring on week two I say!

This week on instagram

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