Let's talk. Honestly.

I need to get some stuff off my chest. These aren’t new topics. I have probably talked about them in one way or another before. But seriously, this is starting to get way to ridiculous for its own good. So grab a cuppa, because there is a serious post ahead. You have been warned.

The first thing I want to talk about is weight loss on social media. I have said it before, and I will say it again. What people present on social media is not the everyday. It is not a holistic view of their lives. Think about it. You Instagram your awesome coffee, or breakfast, or a pretty flower you see on your walk home, or your tidy bedroom. You don’t post the bird poop on your car, or when your cat vomits on the kitchen floor. You don’t post a selfie on the day you have a pimple the size on a mountain on your chin, or when you hair doesn’t look super cute. I don’t care what anyone says, social media is not reality.

It is a social construct of what we want our realities to look like. It seems that the world of blogs has taken a dramatic turn to this ‘sunshine and roses’ view as well. Especially within this weird category that is health and wellness [gosh it sounds so damn pretentious doesn’t it?] It is incredibly easy to talk about your successes. But in the essence of authenticity I chose to talk about the hard times here too. I don’t want to turn this into a negative space full of moaning and groaning and broken promises to myself, but I cannot authentically sit here and tell you that this is all puppies and cotton candy. The last few years I have read blog after blog that tells me how easy it is to lose weight. But for me that is 100% not my truth. It might be their truth, maybe it’s not, maybe it’s just what they want their truth to be. Either way, I refuse to use whatever voice I have in my own space to promote something that isn’t my reality.

For me, this is the hardest thing I have ever done, and from the people that I get to talk to through the wonder that is the modern internet, it seems to be the case for a lot of other people too. I get it, we want to celebrate success and there is nothing wrong with that, but let’s not pretend that this is something that it isn’t. The lows make the highs worth it in my book. So maybe just keep that in mind next time you are looking at someone’s perfectly curated Instagram health feed, because I am pretty sure they didn’t snap a picture of the candy bar or donut they ate on the way home, but they definitely shared the kale smoothie they took one sip of before switching to a diet coke.

The second thing I want to talk about is getting advice from people who are not qualified. I am pretty honest and open about the fact that I have absolutely no effing idea what I am doing, and I am not in any way qualified to be giving dietary advice. And because of that fact I don’t. I do not, and will not give you the answer to your weight loss problem. Simply because I have no fucking idea what that answer is to my own problem, which I have been living with for more than 20 years. I might post what I ate for a week, or talk about some of the things I have learnt, but I would never ever push my unqualified opinion on anyone. Unfortunately it is becoming more and more obvious that other people aren’t so transparent.

The reality is just because eating a certain way has worked for one or two individuals, or even 50-100 different people, doesn’t mean that it is going to for you. In the world that we live in, information is accessible after just a few key strokes. Suddenly anyone thinks they know the best way to lose weight, and more often than not they also suddenly know that there is no other way to do it but their way. You see it seems everyone has something to say and the health and wellness blog scene is growing exponentially every day. [yes, I realise this little rant is sort of hilarious considering I am in that blogging category too] Growing with people who think they know the right way, the one way, to get you healthy. But in many cases people can be uneducated and just know that it ‘works for them.’ And so they push it. Which is all well and good… but that doesn’t mean it is going to work for you or me or the person on reading this on their phone while they are on the couch. One person’s opinion and /or experience is not enough of an assurance for me. Now I am totally not saying that we shouldn’t learn from what other people do because of course we should. But you have to do what is right for your body, and for your life. And you should do it in a safe and educated way.

For me, calorie counting is never going to work but for you it might be the exact thing that is going to keep you on track. For me a plant based diet is never going to be sustainable but it might be the thing that will help you find your groove. For me weight watchers is never going to heal my long term bad relationship with food but it might be just the thing that starts to control your eating habits. And for someone to tell you that one, or all of those things have no merit, well I think that is wrong. I have absolutely no right to tell you what is going to work for you. I didn’t put in the hours, I didn’t learn the science, I didn’t rack up the student loan. I am not a qualified professional. Before you think it, I know there are a lot of professionals out there who can’t agree either, and that’s ok. I suppose that’s just further proof that there are different schools of thought, and different roads that we all need to travel. You have to listen to your body, you have to do what is right for you. But listening solely to the advice of a single source, who is not an expert in the field is a recipe for disaster if you ask me.

Which you didn’t, but I told you anyway.


  1. I love this post Tillie - not only because I wrote about something similar on my own blog not too long ago! People don't take information/images in context - and I know as a 'lifestyle/health and fitness blogger' - i too can fall into the trap of not posting the cupcake or chocolate I ate - BUT I don't want or claim to be an expert and I can only HOPE people see that.

    Eating and fitness is about doing what is right for you. ;) Hit the nail on the head chicky! Do what's right for you x

    1. I definitely think its in the forefront of peoples minds at the moment and thats awesome. Reality and perception are too very interesting things. I suppose just the fact that people are aware of it is a good thing. I need to catch up on your little slice of internet. I think I might just pop on over tonight!

  2. Funny that you post this Tillie. I was thinking the other night about lifestyle blogging/various other social media and how much of a genuine story they tell. And then when they are used as a platform to give lifestyle coaching/counselling by someone who may or may not be qualified to give that advice if that is something to be worried about. I was thinking about how to have more open conversations about people reading the advice considering whether the advice fits in them and their values and it being okay if it doesn't. Which I guess is what posts like this do: give people permission to walk their own path in whatever it is they are working towards. You said it well :)

    1. Absolutely! I think people see someone who is successful, in either weightloss, business or maybe just life and think they can do exactly those steps and they will have the same results. Its definitely not the case , and if I am honest it has taken a while for me truly understand that!

      The lack of qualified advice certainly worries me. Not that a qualification means you know exactly what you are talking about for every person, i just guess it gives you some comfort in knowing they should have some expertise in the field. Its tricky I guess but I am seeing more and more of these self confessed 'experts' in weightloss because they found something that worked for them.

      Thanks for the comment love. Awesome chat x

  3. I enjoy reading these posts :-) I also get annoyed with unqualified advice. Especially because some of it is so crappy! Do you know what really annoys me? Pictures of people showing off their abs in exercise crop tops all over instagram. I mean a few are ok I guess, but seriously, I've seen a few accounts where every second picture is a selfie of them in their bra crop top. Do people really walk around like that all the time?! I saw a picture of two bloggers in their kitchen with those bra crop tops on, it wasn't even an exercise shot! Maybe it's just my pet peeve as I don't get this current obsession with having abs, but it grates me. And I love finding instagram accounts where they show a balance of their kale smoothies and their burger and fries (with a bread bun not lettuce ;-) )


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