A new look.

It is hard to believe that 882 days ago I wrote my very first post on Hello Tillie. It didn’t say a lot, but it marked the beginning of something that has evolved into a really important part of my life. It would be safe for me to say that I am probably not quite where I thought I might have been all those days ago, but I am certainly in a different position. Life has this funny way of working things out for you. If you had asked me back in June 2013, I can almost with 100% certainty say that life wouldn’t look like it does now. But you know, sometimes that is for the best.

One of those weeks.

You know that ones. The low one. The ones that end with days like today. You know, the one where all you want to do is cry and eat junk food and you just want it to be different. You want to wake up and not have this stupid comfort relationship with food. You want to wake up eat your eggs, have a salad for lunch and your grilled chicken and veges for dinner and feel satisfied and happy. You want to work out and feel accomplished. But all you can do is sit there and feel like all of that is too hard and maybe you are never ever going to change the person you have become. I have a lump in my throat as I type this. Because I am ashamed that my fingers are finding their way to these keys. But I also don't want to hide this feeling away because its real, and its my reality right now. I don't know how to change it. I honestly have no idea. Nothing sticks, and its hard. It's so fucking hard. And I get it, it isn't meant to be easy, but I swear to whoever is out there watching over us, that it shouldn't have to be this fucking hard.

This week on instagram

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